Venus And Valentine's Day
VENUS AND VALENTINE’S DAY
How did an early Christian martyr's feast day morph into a celebration of romantic love? The route was circuitous. Look it up if you’re interested, but that’s not what I want to write about in this newsletter. What I want to write about is affectionate life-partnerships, the kinds that endure through the years.
Perspective: you might find yourself at a wedding. Even if you’re full of bright hopes for the couple, naturally in the back of your mind are the ominous words “fifty/fifty.” Those are their chances of them actually staying together. When it’s our turn to toast the happy couple, we may not mention that statistic, but everyone today knows that something like half of all marriages end in divorce.
But, hey, that means that half of them don’t! And given human realities, isn’t that a miracle? Those are the kinds of relationships that I want to celebrate in this newsletter.
ENTER VENUS
Go to any group of astrologers, play dumb, and say, “I forget – what’s the planet of love?” Guaranteed, you’ll hear the word “Venus” in seventeen-part harmony. A better answer in my opinion would be, “show me a planet that isn’t the planet of love.”
Once we’re past middle school romances, relationships are between two human wholenesses. Everybody’s got a Saturn, for example, and one thing Saturn signifies is our need for time alone. If I’ve got a big Saturn and you’ve got a small one . . . well, you can probably see the problem: I need more time alone than you do. Maybe we can work it out, maybe not – but the point is that if our relationship is going to last, our Saturns have to strike a deal.
The same is true for the rest of our planets. Our independent Uranuses have to get along, as do our probing, intrusive Plutos. That’s why I say that all of the planets are “the planet of love.”
But what is it about Venus in particular? Why does it stand out? Why does Venus play such a central role in astrological thinking about romance? Perhaps the most obvious piece of the puzzle is that Venus is the drive in us all that seeks to connect with others and has the skills to pull it off.
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The main motivation of Venus, at least in terms of relationship, is to build a bridge of rapport between me and you, and to maintain it – sometimes at all costs.
Say someone Venusifies you – that’s language I introduced in Skymates many years ago. It was meant to describe what happens when your Venus hits my chart in a significant way. I was hoping the transactional nature of the term would catch on in astrological discussions of interaspects. Alas, it hasn’t.
One point is sure: if your Venus impacts my chart, I’ll simply like you, at least initially. Obviously many other factors have to be in place for specifically romantic “liking” to arise – compatible gender orientations, attractive ages, availability, and so on. But still, no matter where we are in life, where Venusification exists, fondness and affection tend to arise naturally and automatically.
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When people Venusify me, I look at them through the eyes of love. I magnify their virtues in my mind. I forgive or dismiss their faults. I interpret everything they do in generous, accepting ways.
At the risk of trivializing a serious point, if you Venusify me, I’ll simply think that you’re cute. That wart on your nose is a thing of beauty. The goofy way you walk is part of your charm. Your flaws are inseparably bound to your fundamental perfection. When my own partner, Michelle, walks into the room, I just smile. We Venusify each other. One look at her and I’m cueing up Tom Petty in the back of head. He’s singing “Here comes my girl” and I’m singing along with him. That’s Venus!
Given the wear and tear of sharing life with another human being, that kind of Venusian medicine is precious. It helps any couple get through the hard times. It’s what lets us put fights and disagreements, even painful ones, behind us. It’s the big, unquestioning word “Yes” that underlies every relationship that lasts for dog’s years and beyond.
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Venus is what brings us as near to that mythical land of Unconditional Love as we are ever likely to get in this world.
In the rest of this essay, I want to explore the role of Venus in three public relationships that have stood the test of time. By the very nature of that intention, I’ll be looking exclusively at older people. At this very moment, two young people might be falling in love. Will it last? Maybe – but of course they haven’t proven that yet, so how would we know?
Underlying everything I explore with you here is my Valentine’s Day message. It’s simply that we are living in a world that seems to have lost faith in the idea that love can last beyond the half-life of hormones. But it can last and it often does! Let’s celebrate that happy possibility as we mark the feast of Saint Valentine.
KEITH RICHARDS AND PATTY HANSEN
Back in the 1970s in the magazine New Musical Express, Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards’ name was number one on the list of “Rock Stars Most Likely To Die.” He held that dubious honor for about a decade and miraculously survived. His appetite for addiction and living near the edge was legendary.
In 1979, that all changed. While partying at the bacchanalian Studio 54 club in New York City, he met model Patty Hansen and immediately fell in love. They married on December 18, 1983, which was also Keith’s fortieth birthday. They’re still together all these years later. On December 18, 2023, Patty and Keith celebrated their fortieth wedding anniversary. That was also Keith’s eightieth birthday. So, congratulations, Patty and Keith: your names are in lights in this newsletter.
We have an A-rated time of birth for Keith, but no birth time for Patty. Here’s her chart (calculated for noon) arrayed around his chart in a bi-wheel:
Note the nearly perfect opposition of their Venuses, with Patty’s Taurean Venusian energy presumably helping to stabilize the wildness and intensity of Keith’s 12th house Scorpio Venus. There’s a lot more going on between them astrologically, but I need to keep this essay within the bounds of a newsletter. A full synastric analysis of their charts would naturally carry us far beyond Venus.
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Let me quickly say that Patty’s Sun falling in Keith’s 4th house speaks eloquently of how she gave him a sense of a home, family, and roots.
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The position of her Moon is uncertain because of the lack of a birth time, but we know it’s within about six degrees of that early Gemini position indicated here, and probably closer. Even at six degrees, that would mean that her Moon still falls in his 7th house – another powerful synastric element.
All of that and much more would be profoundly relevant in a deeper synastry analysis, but with Patty and Keith, we see a very clear example of how a strong Venus connection helps smooth out the rough spots.
By the way, there are old-fashioned astrologers who might say, “uh oh, their Venuses are opposed,” as if that were a bad thing. Whatever the aspect, the point is that their Venuses are connected. Personally, I’d rather have a hard Venus aspect with a partner than no aspect at all. In fact, I do – my Venus is in Sagittarius and Michelle’s is in Virgo. They’re just half a degree away from an exact square. We have our moments when my slapdash attitudes clash with her precision and caution, but love helps us rise above all that, at least most of the time. I am sure it helps Patty and Keith as well. In fact, time has proven that it does.
MICHAEL CAINE AND SHAKIRA BAKSH
British actor Michael Caine and actor and model Shakira Baksh married on January 8, 1973. They’re still together, so they get our official marital longevity prize – plus they’re in contention for the love-at-first-sight prize as well. That’s because Caine first saw Baksh in a commercial on TV and immediately fell in love with her. After a complex hunt and pursuit on his part, they finally met in person and the rest is history.
Again, we have no birth time for Baksh and only a B-rated one for Caine. His seems to be pretty accurate though. The Astro-Databank source notes quote both “10:00 AM” and “a few minutes after 10:00 AM.”
Michael Caine’s romantic Piscean Venus forms a sextile to Baksh’s more cautious Capricorn one. He called her every day for ten days before she would even respond to him – there’s her Capricornian caution in action.
It’s relevant that Shakira’s Venus falls in Michael’s 8th house. That accounts for his immediate instinctual sense that “she was the one” even if he only saw her on a television screen. Eyes meet across the crowded room and we cue the violins – most of us know that sensation. That kind of instantaneous “recognition” is a classic 8th house signature.
Orbs are controversial in astrology. My practice is to allow ten degrees for conjunctions and hard aspects involving the Sun. By that standard, Baksh’s Piscean Sun forms a conjunction with Caine’s Venus – and that’s obviously a major Venus connection too. Tellingly, her Sun hits his north lunar node even more closely, hinting at profound soul-help flowing from her to him as she helped him recover his ability to trust, to love, and to feel that he was actually loved.
Michael Caine and Shakira Baksh were married in January 1973. So let’s wish them a happy 53rd anniversary – and thank them for proving that love can last. Let’s also thank them for proving that “love at first sight” can be real too. It’s just souls recognizing each other – even if it’s through a television screen blasting a commercial for Maxwell House coffee!
LILY TOMLIN AND JANE WAGNER
On December 31, 2013, Lily Tomlin married her longtime partner Jane Wagner. At that point, they had actually been together for forty-two years, having first met in March 1971. Among her countless accomplishments, with Wagner’s help Tomlin also managed to thread the labyrinth that went with being a gay public figure in the 1970s.
Way back then, I was lucky enough to see Lily Tomlin do a solo show in a New York City theater. She was brilliant – and scary. As she shifted instantaneously between characters, her energy palpably changed. I think of her as one of the sanest figures in show business, but watching her was like watching someone with Multiple Personality Disorder. I suspect those chameleon skills got her through some awkward moments back in those days when gay folks often had to live in fear of being “outed.”
Meanwhile, Tomlin’s wife Jane Wagner was and is an accomplished writer, director, and producer in her own right. More to the point, after all their years together, they embody the long-lived Venusian energy that I am celebrating in this essay.
Here are their charts. We have an accurate birth time for Tomlin – Rodden Rating AA – and once again none at all for Wagner. As with the previous two examples, I’ll display how Jane’s planets impact Lily’s chart with a bi-wheel.
Their strong Venusian connection leaps out. Wagner’s Venus stands less than three degrees from Tomlin’s Moon, both in early Aries. Moon connections are particularly resilient and common in lasting relationships. Think of the symbolic link between the Moon and the archetype of the Great Mother, then think of the near-unbreakable power and durability of the typical bond between a mother and her child. When the Moon is central to the synastric analysis of any couple, there’s often that same kind of instinctual tenacity – something that binds them together over the years, for better or worse.
Tomlin’s Venus is strong being lined up with her Sun, and Wagner triggers it in powerful ways. Her Neptune is conjunct Tomlin’s Venus – that’s significant, but it pales before the fact that Jane’s Sun is only half a degree away from a perfect opposition to Lily’s Venus. Once again, we see living proof that a so-called “bad Venus aspect” is hardly a death sentence for a relationship.
Saturn is in the mix too, being conjunct Wagner’s Sun and thus part of that opposition to Tomlin’s Sun and Venus. Even though some astrologers still persist in calling it a “malefic” influence, the reality is that Saturn can promise maturity, realism, and lasting commitment between two people. Wagner and Tomlin certainly illustrate that principle beyond any doubt. Who could argue with that? Their relationship has lasted for fifty-five years – and counting.
HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY
One of the greatest gifts of evolutionary astrology is the way it affirms that being in a committed relationship is one soul-path out of many possible ones. As the Age of Aquarius gathers steam, the days when we thought a single person was somehow diminished or failing in life are going away – and good riddance. The world has always been full of “single stars” – people with strong Saturn or Uranus signatures, and nothing in their 7th or 8th houses, for example. It’s important, perhaps especially here on Valentine’s Day, to honor them too.
In this essay, my aim has been different. What about the souls who are doing the long yoga of loving each other through thick and thin? Let’s allow these masters in the art of forgiveness to step into the spotlight and take a bow. They’re on a fierce spiritual path too.
There’s one last obvious question. What if you’re in a loving relationship and your Venuses make no aspect at all? Don’t worry – there are many kinds of love and many ways to indicate it astrologically. Venus may be the sweetest of them, but it’s far from the only one. Look to strong Moon connections, interaspects involving the 7th and 8th houses, and many other possibilities. Wherever and however we find love, it’s a gift from the angels and we should trust it.
Happy Valentine’s Day!